What Came Before…

From the National Cancer Institute. http://pre...
From the National Cancer Institute. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am a 50-yr-old “young” woman, 2 yrs free of invasive intraductal carcinoma (breast cancer). I had two partial mastectomies and axillary dissection, followed by 12 wks of taxotere and cytoxin, followed by 36 radiation treatments (the last 9 with a “boost”). I finished BC treatment in March of 2010, and have been on tamoxifen, then Arimidex, since then. God told me He was a healer, and I believe Him.

 

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isa 53:5)

What’s Happening Now…

 

Over the past year, my oncologist noticed that my neck seemed larger in the front, and a series of scans and tests revealed a small (1 cm) nodule right in the isthmus (the little bridge) between the lobes of my thyroid. Fine-needle aspirates showed cells suspicious of papillary thyroid carcinoma (at least it wasn’t mets from the BC — hallelujah! That would have been terrible…). Follow-up BRAF mutation analysis was positive, so, given my history of other cancers, we all agreed that thyroidectomy was the best option.

 

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. (John 8:36)

I go to the surgeon today to set up the pre-op work. Reading posts on thyroid disease blogs makes me feel a little dejected. Life without a thyroid doesn’t sound like a great ride, although at least I’ll be able to show up at the train station alive. It doesn’t sound like BRAF positive results are a good thing, if you don’t continue on and have that baby removed. It has taken me two years to lose steroid weight and get back to any kind of energy level after BC and chemo, and the idea of gaining a pile more weight and being sick again makes me want to cry.

 

God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? (Num 23:19)

The Internet makes so much information readily available to us. But we have to be careful what we “take in,” because it can be very depressing. I am a smart woman, and I know just enough about medical terminology and procedures to be dangerous! It’s good to be informed, but, in the end, I have to remember Whose report I am choosing to believe, or I can get distracted by man’s test results and other people’s (not so positive) stories.  I put my face on for others, but, inside, I get scared and discouraged, too. We should always seek to encourage one another!

 

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. (1 Thess 5:11)

I can relate to the comments from people with cancer or other chronic illnesses (including mental illnesses) that people assume you are well because you look well. Through BC I was told I looked great (and I DID): my color was good, my appetite remained (except when I couldn’t taste anything), I learned lots of ways to tie head wraps and wore dangly earrings to counteract my lack of eyebrows. If you don’t look like those folks on TV who have tubes sticking out of them, near death, people assume that you feel well, or are not scared for yourself and (for me) my family, or that you’re not that sick. Then, the paradox is that your employer doesn’t want you to come to work, because they worry that you are “too sick.” Not sick enough for people to care, but too sick to support your family. Wow.  So, during this time when I didn’t feel great, but could have been working, if my employer wasn’t living in the Dark Ages, I became a blogger. I think that’s been a blessing for me and others. God can turn anything bad into good, if we let Him.

 

 

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. (Gen 50:20)

There is NO good cancer to get. That’s foolish! Who wants to hear they have ANY kind of cancer? No one, that’s who. But people most of the time really don’t know what to say or do. We have to forgive them, because they just don’t know.

 

Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. (Mk 11:23-26)

What’s Coming Next…

 

I await the scheduler to tell me what date I will have surgery — probably sometime in September.  Meanwhile I hold fast to the promises that Jesus made in the Gospel of John:

 

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)

An abundant life… Yeah, that’s what I want. And I thank God that it’s already done.

 

Advertisements